I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
