How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize