Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
