hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize