I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
