what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
