Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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