toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize