Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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