never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
