Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
