Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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