How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
