my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Semen is not good for contacts.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
