i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
