Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
