used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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