can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
