Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Couch. On fire.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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