I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
