I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
