Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
