at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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