No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
