Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
