Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize