You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
