You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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