Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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