you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
