he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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