I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
