Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
