She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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