Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he puts the penis in happiness.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
