I think my vagina is haunted
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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