piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
