She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We left the knife in your bed.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
