I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
