After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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