Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
