i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
