dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
