it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
