now i know why i became what i already was.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
This toilet bowl is my home.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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