walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
