Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
