It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
