Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
