Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
