If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
