He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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