Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
