in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
