I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
