I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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