Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize