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i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I feel like death gave me a hand job
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
