Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
